Did you know that how happy you are, is really up to you? It is absolutely true. When I discovered that my happiness is my personal choice, I literally began researching more about how and why that is the case. It isn’t that I am not a happy person most of the time, but I love the idea that I can be more in charge of how much of it I get to experience based on a variety of things. I loved learning that I don’t have to sit back and wait for happinsss to come, or even to wait on another to provide it for me. It is exciting to me to contemplate engineering my own happiness.
If I am not a person that doesn’t suffer from chronic unhappiness, depression, and/ or anxiety, that doesn’t mean that it isn’t important for me to inform myself, so that perhaps I can help someone else, who may be struggling with this. It seems like every other person I talk to is being treated for anxiety, depression or even both. It wasn’t that long ago, that people kept things like that private. It was thought of as taboo to be medicated, or to be seeing a therapist to help control all of these negative emotions. Once I started to really pay attention to how many people are unhappy, I was eager to study ways that we can naturally feel happier.
One of the things that is making it harder for people to get their negative, unhappy feelings under control, is that they are not heightening their awareness to how many negative, unhappy thoughts they allow to linger in their minds. The next problem occurs, because typically people focus on the mind all by itself, without considering the whole person. If more people knew how closely the body and the mind work together, they would live very different lifestyles.
The very essence of living life in a more holistic manner, means taking into account the entire person. We must include mental , emotional and social factors when treating someone’s physical symptoms. Dealing with feelings of unhappiness without considering the whole person is silly if you stop and really think about it. Take for example if you were caring for a small child, and we notice that they are upset, our first thought is never that something is wrong with that child mentally. We check to see if that child is hungry, tired, or hurt in some other way first. If that isn’t the case then maybe we would try a distraction technique, like finding something fun for them to do that we know that they enjoy. Maybe we would schedule a play date to cheer them up, so that they can connect with a great friend, or maybe we would sing a happy song, or do a silly dance with them. Why? It is because it works. What if we did more of these types of things when we feel unhappy as adults.
What do we have to lose? The next time you are feeling the blues, refuse to wallow in it. First of all, are we tired, hormonal, hungry, thirsty, or lonely? If so…. deal with those things first. Maybe we just need some sun, or some exercise in nature. The next time you get into a negative, pessimistic thought pattern, make a conscious choice to change it. Stop being a victim, letting life take you on an out of control downward spiral. Get behind the wheel, heighten your awareness to what is going on inside your head, and drive your mind to a happy place. You are in charge. If you want to feel happier, then engineer yourself to a happier place, rather than sitting there letting life happen to you, as if you have no choices. Try these happy ideas on for size:
1) Play your favorite song loudly, and dance like nobody is watching you. There are not many things that will raise your vibrational frequencies like listening to music, and dancing. You will notice an immediate mood shift, as long as the music is uplifting.
2) Call up a good friend who makes you laugh. You know that you have answered that phone, even when you knew that a, “Debbie Downer” was calling. Stop doing that. If it is going to be a toxic tell-all then run. Spend time talking to people who make you feel good.
3) Read an inspiring, positive piece of literature. Many thought leaders are writing great work to encourage self- development and self-love. You can’t go wrong spending time reading and meditating on books that are focused on optimism and well-being.
4) Get all dolled up, go out and meet A friend at your favorite restaurant . You will not feel any pep in your step, when you look like a mess. Even if you are just staying home, you don’t want to scare yourself when you pass by a mirror. If you don’t feel good in what you are wearing, take it off.
5) Treat yourself to something that lights you up inside. Do you like massage, candle lit bubble baths, or a concert at the symphony? Then go out and do it?
6) Sing, even if your voice isn’t the greatest. Sing anyway, at the top of your lungs.
7) Tell yourself out loud how much you love, accept, and approve of yourself every time you see your reflection. If you don’t allow other people to insult you, then stop insulting yourself.
8) Detox from negative people, and situations. Find optimistic, positive people to surround yourself with.
9) Drink great wine by the fireplace.
10) Focus on being thankful for every blessing in your life.
Donaylle Nicole
Clearly we are not speaking of severe clinical depression, brought on by a chemical imbalance, (although some people have had success reducing or eliminating medications for mood disorders using a more holistic approach).
Does Your Face Look Like the Sun? 